Category Archives: Writing

The Things We Leave Out

Maureen, Liz, Lantzville Beach

The hardest thing about editing is knowing what has to be left out/slashed/deleted. If it doesn’t belong, or move the story forward, it has to go. This story is one I had to drop as it isn’t about travelling on the coast. Yes it is on the coast of Vancouver Island, Lantzville to be precise, and it does include a dog, but it does not belong in my upcoming book. It is a story I love, a casual meeting on a summer day at the beach and I want to share it with you. It took place on a day in June 1995, thirty years ago.

I meet Violet Margaret Norback: 

On one of those days swimming in the waters off Lantzville and throwing sticks for Bodhi, with Grant lounging on the beach with a book, I noticed an elderly woman sitting on a weathered log. She watched as I emerged from the sea and shook the salt water from my hair. I threw another stick in the ocean for Bodhi and walked across the sand to where the old woman was sitting.

“Lovely day for the beach,” I called with a smile.

She didn’t respond and I was taken aback by her closed expression as she pushed away the thick white hair that hung over her forehead. Her pale cloudy blue eyes considered me for a long moment, then she patted the log beside her and said, “Come, sit with me. Don’t be shy.”

I nudged my wet bottom on the rough log and asked, “Is that your house?” pointing to the faded green two-story house behind where we were sitting.

“Yes,” she said as she glanced back at the weathered building.

We sat quietly for a moment or so, I wondered if that was going to be the extent of our conversation, but then she began to speak in halting sentences with spaces in between.

“Fred and I built it fifty-five years ago. I dug the basement with a shovel. We just built it. No plan, no design. It’s a good house, lots of room. We didn’t have much but there was lots of firewood on the beach. I cut it with a seven-foot saw and bucked it up myself.”

Her name was Vi, and Fred, her husband, had died a few years back. I studied her face as she spoke. I was struck by the grief etched across her high cheekbones and elegant nose.

“I’m not used to talking,”  Vi said. “Fred was the kind of man who did not talk much. Just two or three words a day. But I miss him. I’m lonely. There’s lots of men out there. They come around but I don’t want them. It’s different when they’ve fathered your children but as my mother said, ‘you don’t need to wash another man’s dirty socks.’ Some days I don’t see anyone,” she added. “I go two, three days without talking.”

It felt as though she had weeks of talking to do and I was more than happy to listen. I learned that Vi was born in Scotland, in the Orkney Islands and emigrated to Saskatchewan with her parents when she was young. I leaned back on my log and stretched my bare legs in the sun as she continued to tell her story.

“I used to trap. Had my own trapline, made money, mink and racoons. Fred set the traps. He didn’t like to do the rest. It’s a cruel business. My mother always said if you took on a job you had to do all parts of it. The good and the bad. I was good at it.”

“Where’d you trap?” I asked.

“Oh, around here,” she waved her arm vaguely toward Nanoose Bay. “Four miles. Sometimes I went further on ‘Indian’ land, but no one knew. It’s so long ago. It doesn’t matter now.”

“And I brought food home, used the shotgun for ducks and I caught fish. Out by Maude Island. Have you ever been there?” She asked, pointing across the water to a small island in the distance. “I used to row over there before sunup and catch ling cod,” she said, not waiting for an answer. “Sometimes I would put some bread dough up to rise first and come back with a catch of fish for lunch.”

I glanced at the sturdy wooden rowboat hauled up on the beach and marveled that she could row it across the water.

“You remind me of my Sottish grandmother,” I said. “She was adventuresome, and we always went to the beach together. You even look a little like her.”

“Was she lonely?” Vi asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t think so.”

“Ah maybe she didn’t say. Some women had it hard. It’s terrible being lonely. You take what life gives you and you don’t complain.”

Although I looked for Vi every time I walked by, I never saw her sitting on her beach log again, however I stopped by once and knocked on her back door. I couldn’t tell whether she was pleased to see me or whether I was an intrusion. She didn’t invite me in, and we had an awkward moment while we both looked at each other. Vi was wearing the same faded blue cotton house dress she was wearing on that day we talked on the beach. I wished I had brought her some cookies or muffins. An excuse for dropping by.

“We went out to Maude Island.” I said, breaking the silence. “In our canoe.”

“Did you fish?” she asked.

“No. No. We took a picnic and the dog, and I explored the island. It was beautiful and we had it all to ourselves. I want to go back.”

Vi stood with one hand resting on the door jam and nodded her head slightly. That was all. I walked down her stairs, turned at the bottom and gave a small wave goodbye. Vi watched. It was the last time I saw her.

Her two-acre waterfront property on Sebastion Road went up for sale a couple of years later. The town of Lantzville wanted to buy it for a park. The people voted against it. I was disappointed we weren’t having a park in Vi’s name but then I remembered Maude Island. There was more than fishing for Vi at Maude Island.

That day on the beach, when Vi had so much talking to let out, she added in a soft voice, her faded eyes gazing off in the distance, “I really went to Maude Island to get away, to be alone. But I was never completely alone,” she said, “there were spirits there too.”

I know, I felt them on the day Grant and I paddled to the island.

Violet Margaret Norback 1909-2000

feature
Lantzville Beach

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.

~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell Forbes

*Photo of my daughter Maureen and me was taken in 1997 on Lantzville Beach…I believe the small round looking island in the distance is Maude Island. The other photo is a stranger walking her dogs 1997, same beach. Best swimming beach ever!!!!

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BUMBLEBEES AND BUTTERFLIES-and other neighbourly doings such as getting into shape.

My neighbour has created a bee and butterfly garden, and it’s a lovely sight. She has terrible soil, we all do in our area, our homes are built on the old smelter grounds and as the story goes, the former toxic site was capped with clay and our small strata development was built atop the clay. I can attest to the clay!

But Sue has done magical things with her hard dried garden. A few years ago, she researched and built a ‘lasagna’ garden in front of her house. She piled layers of newspapers, soil, cardboard and compost on the unforgiving ground and now has a spectacular garden with Aubretia spilling over the rocks, small shrubs and Rhododendrons, spring bulbs and Euphorbia providing bloom all year round.

However, there was a strip of grass along her drive that never grew properly. She reseeded, fertilized, watered and yet the strange brown patches remained. One day she dug it up and announced she was creating a bee and butterfly garden. A pollinator garden with a mix of cat nip, California poppies, red poppies and Foxglove that maybe drifted over from my garden, blue Lupins, orange Wallflowers; a wild cacophony of colour, all in the sun and buzzing with bees.

My garden is across the road from Sue’s and is mostly in shade from the Katsura tree and the towering black bamboo. I also have a mix of perennials, shade loving plants such as Lady’s Mantel, Leopards’ Bane, Rose Campion, Foxglove, Japanese Windflowers, and tucked among the ferns I have water dishes for the snakes (yes, I like snakes), and fat bumblebees. My garden is not as structured as Sue’s, it’s even slatternly, but has its own charm. The Euphorbia wandered over from her garden and found niches to flourish and the poppies tossed their seed with wild abandon.

Leopards Bane



Its not everybody’s cup of tea, however we have two artists and one master gardener who live in our cluster of homes, and they love our gardening style. In fact, one artist, Beckie, gave me a painting she had done of my garden because it gave her such joy every time she walked by.

And what has all this got to do with “getting in shape”? Last month I told you I had joined a Choose to Move program via Zoom put on by Island Health and I would give you a progress report. I had ambitious exercise plans but then I had hand surgery, so no rowing machine or floor yoga, and a small health blip, so no hill climbing, however I could garden, and gardening counts for exercise! Yeah! To be honest I would rather be weeding and planting and designing hidden vignettes for cats to lounge than sweating over a hard metal exercise machine.



So, join me and don your garden gloves and hats and get down and dirty and move! It’s a win, win, all the way!

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.
~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell Forbes

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CHOOSING

A few years back, when I was writing a monthly column for The Chemainus Courier, our local newspaper, I wrote about walking the backyard lanes. I loved poking around those overgrown hidden pathways and I would spend hours with my dog wandering up that lane with blackberries spilling over the old truck, picking and eating ripe berries as I went and then I’d walk down to one of the lower lanes where a plum tree dropped its ripe fruit over a compost heap, and then to another lane where I picked the grapes that were usually left to rot on the ground. And then there were the apple trees. And I would come home with my backpack filled with windfalls, apples that made the sweetest pies.

I no longer have the energy to walk up the hill to reach most of the lanes. We live in a seaside town on East Vancouver Island and typical of these towns, there is a hill with houses marching along the side facing the ocean. The lanes I like to explore run behind the houses on the hill and as I live at the bottom, close to the ocean, it’s the getting up to the top that’s the problem. It’s all about the hills!

However, lately I’ve been thinking about those backyard gems, those sometimes-grassy trails and the possibility of apples free for the taking, apples falling over a rickety fence, and I realized I needed to stop being lazy and get back to walking. It’s always so easy to say, “I’ll start tomorrow.”

A couple of weeks ago, I saw an add on social media for a program for seniors called Choose to Move put on by The Active Aging Society, choosetomove.ca. Grant and I went. (He wasn’t too thrilled about it.) Funnily enough, of the nine seniors there, six of us already knew each other, in fact three of us belonged to the same writers group. The focus of the proposed eight- week sessions, was not weight loss or doing exercises, the focus was on getting out, building community, looking at barriers to being active and setting goals. We were already active in the community and this course did not feel like the right fit, in fact all the people we knew at that introductory meeting decided not to join.

But I knew I needed something. Something to help me look at why I was slacking off. Not trying to walk. Yes, I am getting older. But old people walk. My lovely neighbour Sue was texting me for a while, “walkies today?” but I said no too many times.

I needed something I could commit to. Something to make me feel inspired.  I like Zoom and I like questionnaires, charts and goal setting. And I like the fact that the course is part of a UBC study on aging and the results could help develop effective courses in the future for seniors. Meanwhile I think I have found a niche that suits me.

I went back to the Choose to Move site and signed up for an online Zoom course.

By choosing to sign up I will be able to discuss my health goals with a qualified instructor, have charts to record my exercise (I love charts!), and set realistic goals for which I am accountable. At least for the eight weeks of the course.

Chose to Move has a slogan: Being active can help you feel better, look better and live longer.

My short-term goal is to do the exercises already prescribed for me by my physiotherapist, my chiropractor and my family. “Use the rowing machine Lizzie,” instructions from Grant; “Use the stationary bike Mum,” a suggestion from my son Bruce; “Get out walking Lizzie,” loving advice from my sister Kate.

Just think, if I do even half of that I will feel livelier and healthier.

And the big goal is…I will be walking those lanes again, with ease. I might have to get another dog!

I am CHOOSING to improve my life.

Stay tuned for a progress report next month.

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.

~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell ForbesFacebooktwittermail

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FLYING MADLY OFF IN ALL DIRECTIONS

I am not writing a blog this month because:

*The garden has called:

Twenty years ago, when we bought this bungalow, there was a tidy front garden, a row of shrubs, a small, raised bed with two trees and the rest was grass. I dug up the grass and planted every inch of ground with shrubs and flowers including bamboo.

-High maintenance. Oh, how I wish I had left it alone.

Grant dug out the grass in the back yard and replaced it with terracotta pavers.

-Low maintenance. Sensible.

I planted every other empty patch with Rhododendrons, ground cover, flowering shrubs, and we put in a fishpond.

-High maintenance, not sensible.

I am not writing a blog this month because:

*Swimsuit season is coming up and I am working on getting toned.

Ha, ha, ha!!! As if!

*I am working on fitness, so I can work in the garden. I am doing stretches, promising myself that I will walk daily, meanwhile my hands are stiff with arthritis and it’s hard to type let along work in the garden.

I am not writing a blog this month because:

*I am pushing through with the editing of my up coming book, now tentatively called Coastal Adventures: And the Dog Came Too.

I am not writing a blog this month because:

*The blog I was writing this month just wouldn’t gel.

* It’s tax season!

* AND I AM FLYING MADLY OFF IN ALL DIRECTIONS!

I will come back to earth next month. Maybe read a bit of Stephen Leacock in between. Get the reference?

Meanwhile, lets enjoy this sweet time of year, spring with all her promises.

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.

~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell ForbesFacebooktwittermail

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PICTURE THIS

I awake at first light, the birds singing their morning song as I brew my coffee and head down the hall to my studio. The cat walks with me wrapping his tail around my legs, leading me to the front door.

Once at my desk soft light streams through my new stained-glass window and the hummingbirds work the feeders hanging outside. This is my sanctuary, the space I made for calmness and creativity. I sigh with contentment, reach for my notes, and begin editing my latest book.

A beautiful scenario you say. However, after months of procrastination, I am only just there. Last summer I had sent my manuscript to my first readers, received their insightful comments and put them aside where they sat through the long winter when I should have been writing and editing. Instead, I worked at decluttering, shredding old writing, getting rid of books, piling cardboard boxes with stuff, creating so much clutter that I couldn’t move let alone write.

I was stuck in a dark place.

I began to think about love, inspired by author Liz Gilbert, who writes letters of love to herself. (Look it up. Elizabeth Gilbert. Letters to Love.)

And I thought about my love for writing. Writing is my therapy, so why am I using my writing room as a dumping ground for all the homeless things in my life? If I were to write a letter of love to myself, I would say that I am loved, I have value and I am worthy of writing in a beautiful space, a sanctuary.

Last week something shifted. I moved furniture, cleared away the boxes, organized my manuscript and work notes, bought a woven throw-rug to brighten the room, and treated myself to a beautiful stained-glass window to hang over my writing desk. I created my sanctuary and began writing again.

If this is a bit woo-woo for you, think about this, another reason why I was suddenly able to work again: As of last week, Mars was no longer retrograde in Cancer. No longer stalling progress. Mars, which is involved in creativity in my chart, is flowing again. Hallelujah!

Whatever you believe, the fact is that this morning I awoke at first light….and with luck and a whole lot of love, And the Dog Came Too-Camping on the Coast will be published this year.

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.

~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell Forbes

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YUM OR YUCK?

Visiting my daughter Sheila and her friend Beth, Huntsville Ontario

A few years ago, on a flight to Toronto to visit my daughter Sheila, I sat next to a woman who looked like someone I could know. Someone I would like to know. But apart from a cursory acknowledgement of my presence she busied herself with reading and making occasional notes on her laptop. I got it. My fear when travelling is being stuck beside an insufferable boor for the duration. It happened once on a flight from Vancouver to San Francisco with a seat mate whose views on women and almost everything else were diametrically opposite to mine and I was too polite in those days, to tell him to shut up.

I knew this wouldn’t be the case with this woman sitting beside me and I hoped we could chat; it was a long flight from Vancouver to Toronto and I hadn’t packed a good book.

What was it about her that assured me that I would feel at ease talking to her? It was partly the way she was dressed. She looked like many women I knew on Vancouver Island and especially in the Cowichan Valley. Her casual slacks, cotton plaid shirt topped with a lightweight V-neck spoke ‘no nonsense, I am comfortable in my skin.’ Good leather walking shoes, short-cropped hair, warm-open face, no make up. Genuine came to mind, someone who would be fun to know.

What did she see in me that prevented her from engaging in conversation? Older, grey hair? Did I look fussy? I hadn’t been sure what clothes to bring to my daughter’s lake front home in the Muskoka’s.

Sharing a moment with Sheila on her 60th birthday.

“People don’t dress up to travel anymore Mum,” my daughter had warned me.

What Sheila hadn’t factored in was that her casual would be my dress up. Casual on the free-wheeling west coast is a different genre to conservative Ontario. I chose a careful middle of the road wardrobe, and I must be giving off middle-class vibes.

Earlier this morning while awaiting my connector flight from Cassidy Airport on Vancouver Island to Vancouver Airport I had also made assumptions based on how someone was dressed, and I was reminded how quick we are to categorize others. I love watching people and speculating about their lives. This morning, the woman sitting across from me was, I was sure, on a business trip. I mean who else would be wearing make up, nylons and heels and a flowered polyester dress at seven in the morning? And she had a new looking carry bag at her side. But no laptop, hmm maybe not.

She saw me looking at her, “I’m so happy to be going home,” she said, “just spent ten days visiting my brother and wife on the island. How about you?”

Well, there go my brilliant detective skills.

“Off to Huntsville, Ontario for my daughter’s birthday,” I replied. “Her sixtieth.”

“Midlands, Ontario for me, I much prefer Ontario to here, especially where my brother lives, Crofton, its hardly even a town.”

“Crofton?” I exclaimed. “That’s where I live. Maybe I know them.”

With a quick glance from side to side, she leaned across the space between us and whispered. “You wouldn’t know them. They’re hippies. Older would-be hippies but still decent people. He volunteers at the food bank.” She paused, as though searching for the right words. Then nodding her head solemnly she added, “They dress differently.”

Liz hippie vibes 1969

I mulled over that comment as I sat quietly in my seat on the long flight to Toronto. ‘They dress differently.’ That’s a laugh. They probably look like me. And dress the way I do which I can only define as Vancouver Island style. Now if I hadn’t been trying rock the well healed sophisticated jet setter vibe on this trip, that woman would have never approached me.

About one hour before we landed at Pearson, my seat mate closed her laptop, tucked her book and papers into a carry all on the empty seat between us, and turned to me, saying “And what brings you to Toronto?”

Well, ask a talker a question like that when she’s had a sock in her mouth for two hours, you’ll get a story. She got it all, giving up my daughter for adoption, reuniting with her, the cancer diagnosis and now her 60th birthday party. She listened with her whole being. She knew of similar stories; in fact, she was a writer and taught creative writing in British Columbia and had lived part time in Victoria BC. We even knew some of the same people. Time ran out before we had finished our conversation, she apologized for not speaking up sooner, but she had a presentation to complete. I was glad I had not interrupted her while she was working.

She gave me her card when we parted ways.

She was Anne Fleming. The same Anne Fleming who was a runner up for last years Giller Prize for her book Curiosities. Anne Fleming- Author  https://annefleming.ca

Would I have pegged Anne as a writer? No, I assumed she was an academic, a University Professor, which is exactly what she was. Pigeon holing people is not an exact science. I still think if I had been wearing my jeans and Birkenstocks when I took the seat beside Anne, she would have put her work away and talked.

Do we owe it to the people we meet to show an honest representation of ourselves and our values by the clothes we wear? By dressing like a chameleon was I being dishonest? Pretending to be someone I am not? Does it matter?

I think it does. Its somewhat like choosing a book. It’s the cover that is designed to catch one’s eye, followed by the title and if those two important pieces of information interest you, you’ll pull the book off the shelf and take a closer look. Its very much the way we instantly access the stranger who holds the door for you, and a quick word or a smile are exchanged. In that moment you’ve made a yum or yuck judgement. Based on clothing? Or?

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.

~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell ForbesFacebooktwittermail

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WHAT ARE YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS?

What? You don’t believe in New Years Resolutions?

I do.

I believe in them in the way I believe in Tarot card readings or consulting my crystal pendulum. It doesn’t matter that year after year I write: Lose ten pounds, or twenty depending on the year; walk every day and do yoga; be a better person.

In case you wondered, I do not believe in the tooth fairy or in Santa Claus, however I believe in the concept of both and in the joy they bring. However, this year, I have added another resolution.

*Look up old friends! Connect with someone from my past!

It could be a phone call, or a letter written in black ink and tucked into the best velum envelope, the kind the aunts would give for gifts on Christmas, a subtle hint to write a thank you note back. Just connect, however it works.

These days my social media is full of prompts to downsize; the underlying message is that we are closer to death than birth at my age and we shouldn’t leave a mess of loose ends for our children to inherit. A mess like twenty years of Harrowsmith magazines (truly, I think they are at my daughter’s house), or old silver ware that needs polishing and obscure notes on backs of photos written in my illegible handwriting.

It was one such barely legible note on a piece of carbon copied paper, that I came across recently, written in my mother’s handwriting, that prompted this new resolution. It was part of a rambling list of instructions that we found following our mother’s death that read, “Lizzie, Leyda L’s antique gold earrings to go to Leyda Campbell.”

At the time I had tucked the note away and mostly forgot about it. I knew the late Leyda L. but who was this Leyda Campbell?  I had never met her; she was one of a small group of friends Mum had made after my siblings Kate and John and I had left home. Mum died thirty-eight years ago and from time to time I thought about the earrings, knowing that I should do something but there was no internet back then and honestly looking for a Leyda Campbell was not on the top of my list of things to do.

However, Mum also left me a small oil painting by Leyda Campbell which I loved, and it hung prominently in my home. One day an acquaintance dropped by and on seeing it exclaimed. “You have a Leyda Campbell!”

“Do you know her?” I asked, thinking maybe I could finally give her the earrings.

“I’ve lost track of her” he said. “But she’s well known.”

That was more than thirty years ago. Still no internet in my life. I wore the earrings occasionally, feeling guilty that I hadn’t followed my mother’s almost death bed instructions, fretting about being a selfish daughter.

Still, I did nothing.

Until one week ago when I came across Mum’s note in a pile of old letters.

I googled www.leydacampbell.com

Originals » Leyda Campbell – The Wilderness Artist

I had found Mum’s Leyda, and she was a spectacular artist and a strong independent woman who had lived and worked up north and loved the wilderness. I phoned her.

Leyda spoke glowingly about our mother, said how much she had loved her.

Leyda was an emerging artist in her twenties when she painted her nine by eleven oils on site around Salt Spring Island and Mum had of course supported her by buying a painting from the Backroom Gallery on Oak Bay Avenue. I think Mum was a bit of a mother figure for Leyda, it was clear that Mum thought highly of her as she was mentioned in her last wishes, even if it was a carbon copy note. Leyda had known nothing about Mum’s bequest and went on to say how kind Mum was to her and how welcomed she felt at her home. And I am happy that the earrings have found their home at last.

Leyda and I have promised to stay in touch. We have both written memoirs, and we are mailing each other a copy. I will include the antique gold earrings with my copy of Growing Up Weird A memoir of an Oak Bay childhood, that includes family photos. Leyda is mailing me her memoir called Leyda, Friends, Adventures and Campfire Stories, as well as a certificate of authentication for my oil painting called On Top of the Moat.

I can’t think of a better way to be starting the New Year. I believe in New Years resolutions. If only they could always be as magical as this one. Finally contacting Leyda Campbell. Thirty-eight years later.

Mum would be proud of me.

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.

~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell Forbes

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DO EPIC SHIT

I borrowed this title from a local coffee shop in Chemainus. I’m sure they won’t mind. After all we are both celebrating a one-year anniversary and the sign stating DO EPIC SHIT has brought them epic publicity. (Coffee Shack has been in this location for one year, and I have been blogging monthly for one year!)

The sign brought them negative publicity at first when a woman posted her objection on social media stating that she couldn’t take her children in the restaurant let alone drive pass the front of the building.

The sign came down.

Immediately social media was filled with objections. “We love that sign.” “Put it back up.” “Where is this place?” And of course, there were also reams of negative comments criticizing the few people who had objected to the sign. Yes, there was more than one outraged mother. But mostly people loved the sign, it made them feel good and they posted rave reviews about the restaurant.

The sign went back up.

I wonder if they will capitalize on that flurry of epic-ness and serve a new breakfast item? The Epic Breakfast.

So, I had this thought. What if someone publicly objected to the books I have written? After all, there are some racy bits in my Oak Bay memoir. Books have been banned for far less.  A good book banning would increase sales. Nothing creates desire like having it taken away.

Or what if readers were disturbed by the content of some of my blogs? I have touched on delicate subjects. Subjects that are important to me and I hope to my loyal followers.  As I have a new book in the works and marketing that book is a priority, I need to do epic marketing! But please, no book or blog banning. My delicate psyche couldn’t handle it.

But back to EPIC SHIT. I love that sign, and I had to show it to my favourite epic friend of nearly sixty years! Sharon and I are both Pisces, both talk to strangers, and back when we were younger, in Victoria during the vibrant 1960’s, we did epic stuff. Sharon still does and I have a hard time keeping up.

And you bet we talked to strangers on this Coffee Shack day. We had to rope one in to take our picture!

Dubious Advice from an Island Crone # 11

Hang out with fun-loving younger friends. And try to keep up.   DO EPIC SHIT!

It was a year ago in November that I re-launched my Island Crone Blog, and I love my loyal followers. Thank you for supporting me, I love what I am doing.

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.

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Tri-colour American Cocker Spaniel, Blaze

WHAT IS THE STORY ABOUT?

You would think writing a memoir was easy. And why not? You don’t have to make anything up. But do you really want to know every little detail of my life and what I ate for supper on the day I …whatever? Of course not. That’s an autobiography and only of interest if I were an IMPORTANT PERSON such as Margaret Atwood or King Charles.

(Disclaimer here: I am food obsessed and in each of my memoirs, I talk about food. In my soon to be published book, I rhapsodize over the muffins I ate in quirky little cafes on our travels. Fascinating. Right?)

The fact is, a memoir is about a selected time or event or issue in one’s life, written to entertain or inform. If I were an addict, or alcoholic, or had committed some dastardly deed, I could write about how I overcame my problems, but sadly ha, ha, I have had a rather easy life, so in what area could I possibly be such an expert, that anyone would want to read my books?

It seems that people relate to my writing because they relate to me. My experiences as an average woman in our society are universal issues. I love telling stories, and memoir writing is all about telling stories. What keeps me writing is the feedback I receive from my readers on how my memoir, especially Growing Up Weird, has changed their life, or helped them understand their own issues. That is gold.

A life changing memoir for me was My Turquoise Years by M.A.C. Farrant (2004). I read it when I was beginning to write seriously, and I was blown away. It was a cheeky, funny, audacious coming of age story set in Victoria BC in the 1960’s. I instantly plummeted into depression because I could never pull off a book like that. Of course, I couldn’t because I wasn’t Farrant, I was me.

Same thing when I read Anny Scoones, home- tales of a heritage farm. I fell in love with her writing and the cover and shape of her book. (Books are tactile.) Scoones wrote about ordinary life on a wild and crazy farm, far from ordinary and I soaked it up. She reminded me of me. She gave me courage to write about my back to the land period of life. I knew there would be someone out there who would like my writing too and so I carried on and River Tales came into being.

I have a library of how to write memoir. I seldom look at them. I’ve learned more by reading memoirs, especially the memoirs written by another favourite Canadian author, Alison Wearing.

Her Honeymoon in Purdah, Confessions of a Fairy’s Daughter and Moments of Glad Grace are unexpected and lively just like Wearing.

Authors like Farrant, Scoones and Wearing make it look easy, but of course it isn’t, and the trick is to know the answer to the big question, one my friend Tom Masters, who is in my writing circle, invariable asks, “What is the story about?”

“What indeed!” This is where I was stuck with my third memoir which started out to be one story and changed into another story. This happens!

This sometimes-humorous memoir, tentatively called And the Dog Came Too- Travels on the Coast is about our camping and vacationing travels throughout Vancouver Island, the gulf islands and parts of B. C. I sent the manuscript out to my wonderful beta readers (first readers) who are now giving me their insightful feedback on what works and what doesn’t.

And of course, once I re-read my stories, and read my beta readers’ comments, I was filled with self-doubt; all part of the writing process. (Writers are terribly insecure.)

Happily, after a short hiatus from writing, where I relaxed and let the feedback percolate, the essence of the story became clear and the pull to write returned.

I knew what the story was about!  

I love writing and it feels good to be back. Sadly, this book will not be published in time for Christmas. So, no scintillating memoir from me in your Christmas stocking this year!

But coming in spring. I promise! 

Note: the dog featured is our beloved Blaze who sadly is no longer with us. You might also note that I have pictures of him posted in my office and very few of my human family. No judgement please.

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.

~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell Forbes

contact me at:  baybooks@shaw.ca

Growing Up Weird: A memoir of an Oak Bay childhood

River Tales: Stories from My Cowichan Years

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SMALL MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS

Back a few years, when we were still living in Chemainus, Grant bought a new thunder-grey Nissan Tundra hot off the factory shelf. We drove into town and parked in front of the coffee shop on Willow Street. The local good old boys were having their usual ciggies and coffee at the outside tables.

We smiled and said good morning, and as we walked away from the truck, we heard one of them say, “there goes a lucky man. He’s got his truck and a good- looking woman at his side.”

“He’s got his priorities right,” Grant said as I whapped him on the arm.

Willow Street Cafe in Fall

Flash forwards a dozen years. We were enjoying lunch on the deck at the Willow Street Café at the far end of Willow Street. Our cocker spaniel was sitting at my feet, the big patio umbrella shading us from the hot sun. The place was lively, food was good and I was on top of the world. A woman at a nearby table kept glancing over, then she caught my eye and smiled.

“Look at you!” she exclaimed in a big voice, her arms spread wide. “You’ve got your dog and you’ve got your man. You’ve got it all. Go girl.”

“She got the order reversed,” Grant grumbled later.

Ah but, it’s a happy memory for me.

Another one of those everything’s alright-in-my-world moments occurred a few years ago. It was evening, curtains closed to the rain beating against the windows, the flames on the gas fireplace flickering, Grant and I lounging in our easy chairs and our dog and cat curled up on the sofa. I couldn’t imagine anything more perfect than relaxing with a loving partner and an adored dog and cat in front of the fire. My heart was full.

But flash forward to present day. Our home is now missing a dog. Our precious cocker spaniel was run over a couple of years ago. And we are not ready for another dog. Grant’s cat allergies are worsening and we should be rehoming our cat. But I can’t bring myself to do it. The heart has gone out of our home.

For the sake of Grant’s health, we are keeping the cat out of our bedroom. Conrad’s favourite place to sleep was on a cushy chair next to my side of the bed.

Now I am doing ‘cat training’ which consists of patiently ignoring his tales of woe as I try to sleep (fat chance) while he serenades me loudly outside our bedroom door. He is an indoor/outdoor cat and we don’t have a cat door. I am the doormat, er doorman. The first night that I left him outside when I went to bed, he scratched on the bedroom window and cried for two hours. I cried too. I let him in and he continued his sad tale at the bedroom door.

Last night he changed his pleas to more conversational tones, sweet meows with up and down notes accompanied by quick bursts of scratching the door jamb. I hope that means my side is winning. He can lure you into complacency with his sweetness. The goal is to have him content to sleep in a different room from Grant and me and to keep Grant’s allergies manageable.

Conrad left his original home when he was young and pushed his way in with us. I packed him up once and moved him and his expensive cat tree back to his first home, a couple of houses away. (Grant’s doctor’s orders re allergies.) He was back with us very quickly, minus the cat tree, his cat siblings had taken it over.

So, this is round two and I will stick it out because I don’t want to send him away even if it means I stagger around half asleep looking like something the cat dragged in. Now isn’t that an appropriate metaphor?

I will keep you posted.

Signed, obedient cat servant and juggler.

Note: The two “Willow Street” anecdotes in this blog are included in my upcoming memoir (working title) And the Dog Came Too.

Tri-colour American Cocker Spaniel, Blaze

My tri-colour American Cocker Spaniel Blaze, curious about my book display.

If you enjoyed this and are curious about more content from an Island Crone, please subscribe from my web page/blog sidebar. I promise to post at least once a month and sometimes more. But not often enough to bore.

~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell Forbes

Growing Up Weird: A memoir of an Oak Bay childhood

River Tales: Stories from My Cowichan YearsFacebooktwittermail

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