THE THINGS THAT GIVE ME JOY
Something wonderful happened this October month. Something that helped me soar over everything else that was going on.
We were enjoying a family birthday lunch for my daughter Maureen at the Cowichan Bay Pub when a woman whom my eldest son knew came to our table. She was one of those slender fit beautiful silver-haired women in her 80’s and she wanted to tell me how important my memoir Growing Up Weird was for her.
“We’ve all had those experiences,” she said, “I’ve lent it to a friend. I am so glad to have met you.”
And then a few days later, my son Mickey, same son, was chatting to another Cowichan Bay resident, again a professional woman close to my age who thanked him for giving her a copy of my book. She hinted at growing up with a similar background and had lent it to a friend who also resonated with the story.
There’s magic in the number three and October ended with a text from my sister Kate, “I was at a friend’s 80th birthday party yesterday and her three sisters were all raving about your book.” They had also grown up in Oak Bay.
The book Kate was referring to is my memoir of Oak Bay in the 1940’s and 1950’s. It wasn’t meant to be published, after all it held family secrets and uncomfortable subjects. It grew from a writing prompt twenty something years ago with my Chemainus Writers group. Once I started writing (there were harsh memories, sexual abuse, and normal growing up adventures), I became immersed in the past, and I often wrote in a child voice. It was cathartic and healing.
my mother, step-father, sister, baby brother and me
At that point I still viewed it as a record for my family and for my two siblings who were six and sixteen years younger and grew up with a different father and had different experiences. However, with encouragement from my writers’ group and my family I published Growing Up Weird – A memoir of an Oak Bay childhood.
I hoped by writing this book, it would not only give a snapshot of Oak Bay in the 1940’s and 50’s it would serve as an honest depiction about the difficulties many girls faced including the sexual abuse that we didn’t talk about. I hoped my story would help someone else. Help them to know they weren’t at fault, and they weren’t the only one.
And the ‘everything else’ that’s going on that I mentioned in the beginning?
Apart from climate change, the unhoused, the world in general, I am having health problems that have temporarily slowed me down but haven’t stopped me from writing.
To hear that my writing makes a difference is all I need.
And that’s what’s given me joy this October month.
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~ Island Crone by Liz Maxwell Forbes
I feel a sense of joy and pride every time someone says to me, ” I loved your sister’s book! ” Because the four sisters were raving about your memoir at the party last weekend I decided to re-read it after finishing the current book called ‘Decolonization and Me’. I had been meaning to reread ‘Growing up Weird’ for a long time and am almost finished it. Your writing is so descriptive, honest and human and I am so proud of you! Let’s get together soon as I have a million questions to ask you.
Thank you Katie, is was originally prompted by telling our parents story to you and John Brim…and then of course it grew from there. I am grateful that you two were okay with sharing such a personal story with friends and strangers…thank you!
I too enjoyed “Growing Up Weird”, even though it portrays a life and geography wildly different from my own. Maybe I liked it because it was so different. Who among us isn’t curious about another’s life story – especially told by a gifted writer. But beyond curiosity lies the experience of exposure to a different world, different upbringing, different views. That can do nothing but enrich our lives and broaden perspectives. That’s a gift. Truly.
yes. quite. exactly!
While I enjoyed ‘Growing Up Weird’ very much, it brought back difficult memories for me I try to forget. Betrayal by those we love stays with us and often informs our relationships with others. As you know Liz, I have brought them to light, but what to do with them is another question.
I have met so many people here in the central island who grew up in Oak Bay, and I always recommend “Growing up Weird” to them. In fact, a dear friend from the mainland recently moved to Oak Bay and purchased a heritage home which she and her partner are renovating (within the regulations for renovation of such homes, of course). I may be dogsitting for her next spring, in which case I shall have to flood your email with photos of the neighbourhood to stir your memories even further. 🙂
I am so happy that you are receiving such wonderful feedback. Like Katie, I need to read it again as I usually rush through first readings to see.what’s next? I think of you on the podium, reading at the Rose Garden Pavilion and the full house that attended. I dog sit on Windsor and often hang out at the Windsor Cafe across the street, and for me..that neighbourhood rings of you.